The Best Man
by starstruckcoffeecup
Summary: It's Blaine's wedding day, and Kurt, as his best friend, is given the duty of being his best man. It's hard work for someone who's been trying to ignore being in love for five years.
1. Chapter 1

Blaine was pacing the carpet from left to right, occasionally glancing up into the mirror, or flattening his hair.

"You look _fine_," said Kurt. He rapped a finger against the wall and felt a smile creep up on his face at Blaine's antics. "Stop worrying."

"Y'think?" replied the boy, pausing for a sec.

Kurt got up, his eyebrows creasing and lips turning inward in a fond expression. He walked over to Blaine and altered his tie slightly with a turn of the head, and then set about fixing his collar. "I don't _think_, Blaine. I _know_."

"You're a great friend, Kurt."

Kurt returned the smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I know."

Blaine smiled.

Kurt realised his hands were still smoothing Blaine's jacket and quickly dropped them, turning away. There was a pause; it hung in the air like gossamer.

"So... Do you think I look ready?" Blaine grinned sheepishly, running a hand through his hair.

Kurt tutted in response. "You did until you ruined your hair. Honestly, Blaine."

"Sorry," responded Blaine, still with that stupid grin on his face.

Kurt smiled, and neatened it back into place carefully with a comb.

"I'm so nervous," said Blaine, facing the mirror as he watched Kurt's handiwork take place.

"Of course you are," said Kurt, biting his lip in frustration. "Honestly Blaine, how much gel did you use? Why do I let you _dress yourself?_"

"Sometimes I think you haven't changed since high school," replied his friend.

"You, too," said Kurt, finishing with Blaine's hair and taking up a seat on a stool by the side of the wall. The room had a green carpet and cream walls and had the air of someplace attempting to be homely but being too neat about it. It felt like a grandparent's house.

"I love him, though," said Blaine, a response to an unasked question. His tone was even more nervous, he gazed in the mirror, psyching himself up. Kurt grimaced and reached for his beer.

"So much," added Blaine. "So damn much."

And then Kurt suddenly felt the urge to take another swig of beer. When he finished his gulp, he simply said; "I know you do," and gazed at the face of his best friend for a little too long. He snapped out of it. Blaine was marrying Alex. And Alex was a wonderful, lovely guy, and he was sure Blaine and Alex would have lots of lovely little children and be in a big house and have nice, steady jobs and Kurt would eventually get over whatever this was.

He'd been telling himself he'd get over it for five years now. And now he was the best man at their stupid wedding and he was watching this happen and he couldn't do a thing about it. It took all Kurt's restraint not to throw the bottle of beer straight at the disgusting green carpet and scream. Instead he took another long gulp.

"You're gonna need to be able to walk to do this, you know."

"I'm only having one bottle," said Kurt.

"Yeah, but you know what a lightweight you are," responded Blaine.

"O-kay, stop panicking. We're getting you outside for some air. You need to _calm down_."

The irony of this statement made Kurt's lip curl.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," protested Blaine.

"Yeah, right. Come on," he said, his lightness returning. Get over it, Kurt. Plenty of people have been in unrequited love with someone and got through it. You're not the first person to be in love with their best friend. You only need to watch a few rom-coms to figure that one out.

Except it always seems to work out in the movies.

They sat down on the bench outside the hall. It wasn't a church wedding- just a little village hall. Only the closest family and friends.

And despite the fact that Kurt hates the stupid hall and its musky walls and grandma-ish feel and that he would want something more extravagant and that the colour scheme is all wrong and their planned honeymoon to Australia is frankly _ridiculous_, Kurt finds himself imagining this being _his_ wedding, marrying Blaine. And then he imagines them kissing, them growing old together. Watching shitty movies and cuddling. Growing old together in some silly apartment on some silly hill in some silly dream. It's not the first time he's imagined it, but it hurts the most today.

Kurt's so wrapped up in his fantasy that it takes him some time to realise Blaine's head is on his shoulder. He jerks himself back to reality.

"What're you doing, you nut?" he says.

"I'm scared, Kurt. I love him, but I'm scared."

Kurt finds the beer being pressed to his lips once more. He takes a heavy gulp. "Of course you're scared. But you'll be fine."

Blaine tilts his head up. "You think?"

Kurt looks down at him. "I know."

He does know. And it hurts.

"You're right. I'm scared, but I've never loved anyone this much."

"Uh huh," says Kurt. This is getting old by now. But he's Blaine's best friend. He owes this to him. He reaches for his beer again and- and damn it, it's all gone. God does he need another beer right now.

The trickle that remains slips down his chin.

Blaine wipes it away.

Kurt looks down.

Kurt kisses him. He doesn't realise he's doing it, but he's leaning down and he's kissing the friend he's been in love with for years. And for a moment, for a moment that Kurt wants to hold on forever, he can feel Blaine kissing him back. Kurt lets the beer dangling from his left hand fall to the ground. It lands with a clink and rolls away. Kurt's hands bring themselves round to the nape of Blaine's neck, and they begin to fall towards a horizontal posistion, and Kurt kisses harder- but Blaine's pushing him off him and scrambling away in panic, horror etched in plain writing on his face.

"I-" he begins, staring at Kurt as he speaks the syllable.

Kurt interrupts. "I'm sorry."

"Why did you..?" Blaine trails off, still staring at Kurt, who moves himself away a few places. He moves a hand through his hair, completely messing it up; but for once he doesn't care.

"I'm so sorry."

"I... but..." Blaine appears to be in shock. Kurt wants nothing more than to go over and hug him but he knows that wouldn't help.

"I've been in love with you for over five years, Blaine."

Blaine looks even more shocked, if possible.

"Are you telling me you didn't notice?" says Kurt, frustrated. As if _he's_ the one who has any right to be upset right now, he muses sourly.. "Are you telling me you didn't _see_?" Kurt knew he wasn't exactly subtle.

"I don't know. Jesus Christ, Kurt. It's my wedding day. It's my wedding day and I just kissed my best friend. I kissed you back. I'm a horrible person. And... and now you're telling me this and I don't know what to say and I-"

"I love you, Blaine. I've loved you for God knows how long, but I'm your best friend, first and foremost. So you can take my heart, and you can stomp on it, and break it into pieces and I will walk out there-" he chokes as he speaks- "I will _walk out there_ and be your best man because I am still your best friend. Because above all the things I want to be to you, I owe you that much."

"Kurt," Blaine says, his tone suddenly cold. "I think you should leave."

"I- Blaine, look, I'm sorry."

"Kurt. You need to leave."

"Blaine, I'm your best man. Your best _friend_"

"And we just kissed. On my wedding day."

"I'm sorry, God, I'm so sorry. But please, Blaine."

"Kurt, just go. I'm done with you," replied Blaine. He turned and walked away, after some hesitation, like he wasn't really sure what to do. He wasn't.

Kurt was left standing there wishing the world would just god damn swallow him up already.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi, you guys. I wanted to thank you for all the support I received on my last chapter and apologise for how long this took/how short this chapter is. This chapter and I did not get along well, let's just say that. Regardless, I hope you enjoy it!**

Kurt stood there for a long time, staring after Blaine's dissapearing figure. What had he _done_? It took him a long time to remember how to move his feet. It was too far to walk home- he'd got a ride with Mercedes. He fished his phone out of his pocket mechanically, feeling empty, and scrolled through his contacts for the local cabbie service. He couldn't think- feel, anything. He pressed the dial tone and waited. After he put the phone back in his pocket, he couldn't even remember the conversation that had just happened.

His mind scrolled through a memory in the time in between calling and the cab arriving. It was viewed from bird's eye. It didn't feel like Kurt's memory at all.

"_Kurt! This is Alex. You know, the guy I told you about."_

"_Oh. Hi."_

"_It's really good to meet you."_

Ouch. He pushed it away, unfocused, staring at the side of the road. This would be easier if he didn't think so much. The car eventually arrived. He climbed in, spoke the address in monotone. H efelt cold, like he'd just been left in the freezer, forgotten.

The cabbie was the chatty type. A girl. That was surprising. He was used to gruff old men who said nothing. Trust his luck for it to be today that his cabbie was conversational.

"Part of the wedding going on there, then? You been sent out for forgotten emergency supplies?"

"I was the best man," he said, staring out the window.

"Oh, how _exciting! _I've actually never been a bridesmaid. What you popping home for, then? Groom forgot his hair gel?"

"Uh, yeah, that's it," Kurt said. Anything to get her to shut up.

"So I'll be waiting to drop you back then? That right?"

"Uh- no, it's fine."

"But-"

"It's fine. Will you just shut up, please?"

He caught a glimpse of her eyebrows creasing in the mirror. He slumped back in his chair and watched the familiar streets go by.

"Thank you," he said quietly, as he got out, paid her and left. He turned the key in the door, opened it, and slammed it behind him with a desperate finality as he collapsed on the other side, sitting on his inside doorstep. He was amazed he hadn't done this on the spot when it happened. And God, suddenly he felt it. Something other than this cold emptiness of routine and monotone.

He cried. He wasn't sure for how long. It was a simple routine when something bad happened, the crying, and it had to be done. Afterwards he felt better. His eyes were sore and his nose were running but he felt the release of admitting out loud through tears that something was not right.

It took some time, but eventually he picked himself off the floor and walked over to the kitchen. He methodically made coffee, and realised he couldn't bring himself to drink it when he was faced with the reality of the cup. He tossed it down the sink and stood there for a little longer, the faint scent of coffee in the air. And then, not focusing on how utterly mad it was, he opened the coffee jar and scooped out a great scoop of it. For some reason, the smell of it had always calmed him down. He washed his hands in it, coating them in it, and then he sat down on the sofa with his hands on his face, smelling them.

Time passed.

Machines whirred.

Clocks ticked.

Time stopped.

The doorbell rang.

It took time to register the alien sound: something so mundane and normal lay in the midst of all these feelings. He didn't want to answer. He groaned; "Go away," and pulled the pillow over his head.

But the doorbell just kept ringing and ringing more feverishly and rapidly each time. He pulled himself up and opened the door.

On the other side stood Blaine.

"He said we're over."

He was crying.

Kurt just stared like an idiot.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know people prefer longer chapters, but anything longer than I'm currently doing just feels unnatural. And I apologise for taking a detour from our favourite characters. They'll be back soon! I'm writing another chapter right now. And you guys would not believe the huge grin I had on my face when I woke up the day after I published the chapter to 50 new emails from from you guys reviewing, faving, story alterting etc. It made me so happy. I'm glad that so many people are enjoying it. I'm going to stop waffling now and leave you guys to read this small morsel of a chapter whilst I cook up something more impressive.**

Alex was seated on the steps outside the hall in the rain. He watched the raindrops fall without registering them, smelling the imprint of the scent. Normally he loved it, but today the scent invaded his nostrils and felt pungent and unwelcome.

In the absence of a wedding, the crowds had gradually drifted away, unsure of the situation. Only a few people remained, and they were clearing off too. Nobody spoke to him. Nobody knew what to say.

_Are you okay?_

_Well, clearly not._

_Anything I can do?_

_What the hell could you do in a situation like this?_

_How are you holding up?_

_Just shut __**up**__. _

He screamed at these imaginary conversations in his head. Alex didn't realise that really, he was screaming because nobody was trying at all.

He saw the last few pack into the car and go, in silence. They didn't talk to each other until they were out of earshot of Alex; you wouldn't want to act like the world will go on.

He stared at the pavement for a long time before he felt a blanket being draped around his shoulders.

"Hi," said a voice.

Alex looked up.

_Mercedes Jones._He was confused for a moment. Mercedes was a friend of Blaine's, not his. And really, they'd never spoken apart from a quick hello. Wasn't she supposed to be on the other side? Nonetheless, he tightened the blanket around his shoulders as if it were a wall to protect him.

"Hi," he replied, surprised at how unsteady he sounded. Like a madman.

"Can I ask how you're doing, or is that a subject better left untouched?" she asked.

He snorted. "Crap. But thanks."

She paused.

"I'm gonna ask why you aren't marrying him, in a second," said Mercedes.

Alex stared harder at the floor and nodded.

"Why aren't you marrying him?"

"Kurt kissed him."

Mercedes put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. But that's not Blaine's fault."

"You don't sound surprised."

"It was bound to happen at some point," Mercedes explained.

Alex looked questioning.

"Yeah, I mean, Kurt's been in love with him for _years_. He doesn't whinge about it anymore, but for some reason he just can't shake it."

There was a pause.

"Do you think he loves him as much as I do?" he said, in a small voice.

"...Yes. Almost- no, not almost certain, definitely certain."

Alex felt uncharacteristically like he should cry. "Do you think Blaine loves him back?"

The pause felt like years, this time. Then Mercedes finally answered, after sitting there for some time with her lips pursed.

"Yes."

Alex exhaled.

"But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you, too."

"I don't doubt that. I don't doubt that he loves me. I just- you can be in love with two people at the same time, can't you? And I'm not sure that... however much he loves me, I'm not sure it's as much as he might love Kurt."

"Well. He chose you," pointed out Mercedes.

"For now," Alex added.

Mercedes patted him on the shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Alex looked up. "Thanks."

Mercedes nodded. "For the record," she said, "I think you should give him a call."

"Bye, Mercedes."

"Bye, Alex."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Blah. Okay. I'm sick. The good news is that this means I will be writing fic for most of tommorow. The bad news is that I will be huddled over in pain for the large majority of that time. With that said, thank you so much for your reviews, favourites, and just generally reading and being supportive. I get this huge grin on my face every time I read a review. Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. On with the story. And I'm frustrated about the size of the chapters, but I just... can't make it any longer. It doesn't work. Sorry. Also, I like cliffhangers. Sorry. That isn't going to stop.**

"I don't know what to do, Kurt," said Blaine, as they huddled together on the sofa.

"Me neither. I know what I _want_ to do, but I'm not sure it's the right choice."

Blaine looked up. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to kiss you right now."

Blaine nodded and let this sink in. "Why haven't you? I'm single. Now would be the right opportunity to have that happen."

"Because you're sad and feeling vulnerable and it's not the right thing to do because you'll regret it tommorow."

"Mmm," said Blaine, tracing patterns on Kurt's arm. Kurt flinched, but then relaxed, feeling Blaine make circles on his arms. This quiet intimacy; free from the roughness of kissing, was almost better.

"I like your arms," said Blaine.

"I like you," replied Kurt.

Blaine leaned towards Kurt's ear. "Don't leave, okay? I need you not to leave me."

Kurt felt a lump in his throat, his chest tightened.

"Of course not. Never."

_Never_.

The weight of this statement lingered on Kurt; it was honey on his skin, dragging him down. He was swimming in it.

He blinked, pushing the feeling away with a deep exhale. He looked down. Blaine was staring at him intently. "Can't you just kiss me now?" asked the other boy.

Kurt rested his head on top of Blaine's gently. "No."

His phone buzzed. He had to manouever Blaine off him to get to it and by that time whoever was calling had hung up. He looked at the mobile in scrutiny. There were ten missed calls from work, but he could deal with that later. At the top of the list lay a name he was not ready to face.

Alex.

Kurt felt like he would explode as he held the phone in his hand; wanting nothing more than to throw it at the floor.

"Kurt?" questioned Blaine, touching Kurt's arm.

Kurt pressed the 'call back' button, shutting his eyes as he put the phone to his ear. It wasn't even a single ring before Alex picked up. For a moment, all that was on the line was breathing.

"Kurt."

"Alex, I-"

"Save it."

"It wasn't Blaine's fault."

"I know that. That's not why- it wasn't because..." Alex trailed off. Kurt just waited. "It's not because I thought that he started it. Or that he wanted to cheat. It's because I think he's in love with you."

Kurt held the phone closer to his ear and glanced over at Blaine who was mouthing words at him that Kurt couldn't distinguish. Kurt just shook his head and slipped into the other room.

"Oh," was all he said.

"Well," said Alex.

"I think he loves you, too," Kurt found himself blurting out.

"I know."

"Dy'a wanna maybe talk to him?"

"No. God no."

"Would you give him another chance?"

"I- yes. If you deci- nevermind."

The line went abruptly dead- the hovering of a promise hanging in the air.

Kurt put the phone in his pocket and closed his eyes. It was time to do the right thing. He'd screwed this up in the first place.

"Blaine?" he called.

He heard a _mmph_ of response. It made Kurt smile, despite himself. His heart sank.

Kurt turned around the corner. "Alex said he'll take you back. We need to get you to the village hall."

Blaine stared.

"C'mon, Blaine. We need to hurry."

"But Kurt, what if I don't want to-"

Kurt cut across him. "You do. Come on. Don't make this harder than it has to be."

"Kurt, listen to-"

"Shut up. Just shut up, OK? I know that taking you isn't the right thing to do. And this morning you wanted to marry him. I know you did. I know you meant it. So you're gonna go marry him, and then you can forget about me and I can forget how awful I was-"

"Is this some form of _redemption_ to you, Kurt? Okay, so you made a mistake, but maybe for the better."

Kurt smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes; the edges of it drew into a frown as he looked straight at Blaine. "Who are we kidding, Blaine? This wasn't meant to be."

"Who says?" asked Blaine.

"Get in the car with me and I'll explain. If you're not convinced by the end of the journey that you should marry Alex, then maybe we'll give it a shot, okay?"

Blaine stared at him. "You're insane."

Kurt nodded. "Maybe."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I feel like everything's gone super fast in this fic. I'm sorry. I'm still learning by doing, I guess. I wrote this chapter while listening to Hide & Seek by Imogen Heap, which was actually the song that determined the ending of the story, in the end. I'm easily influenced. So, hearing about people listening to that while reading this would be interesting. And on with the final chapter.**

The drive began in silence. It was like that for ten minutes.

"Kurt? You haven't given me any reasons."

"I got a job offer," Kurt said. His voice was breathy and uncertain. "In New York. They want me to move there to co-ordinate a design team. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. I kissed you out of despiration, Blaine. It was a last-shot because I'm leaving. And I love you, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did this and I need to fix it and then move on because _I am never going to get another shot like this._"

"Kurt-"

"And I honestly think Alex is right for you. Maybe we could have had something, some time, maybe back when we were younger, but right now-"

"_Kurt._"

"Right now, it's just not right anymore, you know? I think we missed our-"

"Kurt!"

"-shot." Kurt glanced over at Blaine nervously, red lip under pressure from ivory teeth. The uncomfortable twinge of pain he felt was helping him keep it together.

"Maybe I could go with you."

Kurt laughed, shaking his head as he pulled into the driveway of the village hall, the rain hammering on the rooftop as he parked, the car ceasing to a hum. "You're not moving to New York with me on a whim over some chance for romance."

"I wouldn't be moving there for some chance for romance. I think I'd rather move there with my best friend, who I might have a shot at something good at that I missed before."

Kurt looked up through lashes. "Really? You'd want to move there with me?"

Blaine nodded. "Really."

Kurt felt a smile stretch his face. "Okay. I. Um. I need to-"

"Calm down. We'll work it out. It's going to be amazing."

Kurt grinned. "Yeah. We can do this." Suddenly he felt this elation; this freedom from guilt. Maybe this would be OK, because Blaine loved him back, and Alex had been a mistake all along. Maybe things were finally working out for Kurt Hummel. It was about time. He reached out to take Blaine's hand in a gesture of acceptance. He'd waited long enough and finally he was getting his happy ending.

Then he caught sight of Blaine's face. He was staring over at Kurt's shoulder, where Alex stood there, soaking wet with a huge smile on his face.

It didn't need to be said.

Kurt knew how this would end.

"I understand," he said, in a low voice.

Alex was holding a bouquet of flowers.

Kurt could see the love in Blaine's eyes.

"I-" said Blaine, glancing back at Kurt.

"It's gonna work out for you, you know. And me, too. In New York. Living the dream," said Kurt. His heart sank with the heavy weight of acceptance.

Blaine looked at him. "We'll skype _every day_, you know," he promised, looking surely at Kurt.

Kurt shook his head, lips pressed together inside his mouth in a sad smile of recognition of the truth. He placed a hand on Blaine's cheek. "No," he said, quietly. "We won't."

Blaine looked confused.

"And that's okay, Blaine. In fact, it's kind of the point. Ineed to be out of your life. Who knows, maybe one day, we can be friends again, but-"

Blaine nodded.

Kurt returned the gesture, acceptance in his eyes. His smile was sad but genuine.

"Bye, Kurt."

"Bye, Blaine," said Kurt, forcing the tears away. He dropped his hand in shame and looked straight ahead at the dashboard. _Pathetic_, wasn't he? Crying over this. He couldn't rationalize it, but he shut his eyes tight as Blaine got out the car, not opening them until he was certain that Alex and Blaine would be gone.

_Fuck honorability. Fuck this, fuck doing the right thing, fuck mistakes, fuck you, Blaine. Fuck you making me think we could work and then leaving me at the last second. Fuck you, Alex. Fuck love._

Kurt got out the car in the rain and paced quietly up to the hall, where he opened the door and peeked through. At the top of the hall sat Blaine and Alex.

"We should still do it," said Alex, excitement peaking through his eyes. "Call him back. Make the wedding go on without an audience. We should get married and fuck the rules."

"I- what about our families?"

Alex leaned over and grabbed Blaine's face, kissing him. "Oh fucking well."

Kurt slipped away. His exit was _long _overdue. He got into the car, and drove home.

Then he cried his god damned last tears for this situation over some black coffee. He wrecked some crockery. He went through boxes of tissues and hours of call time with anyone who would listen. He let himself be sad that he had lost a friend and a lover. He let himself be sad that he had done the right thing instead of taking his chance.. Kurt picked up his phone, choked a _yes_ to his work's offer through his tears, and then started packing to stop himself thinking.

Three weeks later he was on a plane to New York. He leaned his head against the side of the window, feeling the reverb and rhythm of the plane through the side of hes head as it glided along to somewhere new.

He stepped off the plane in the cool summer air and smiled.

_Yes_, he thought. _I am going to like it here._

**A/N: And this is where you all hate me now. Sorry. Sorry again. I love angst. I really hope you enjoyed it; I know it was short, but it worked best this way. I'm thinking of writing something following Kurt in New York but I'm not sure if anyone would be interested. Let me know? Lots of love.**

**Also; you guys should follow me on tumblr if you have a tumblr. It's .com . If you feel like we could be friends, that's the easiest way to talk to me.**

**Okay bye.**


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